Before: I would always think this is my fault. If I just tried hard enough I could and would be better. I obviously never worked hard enough to make myself well and fix my problems, thus I must deserve them all. I knew I was “diagnosed” with some “mental illness” but I should be smart enough to control it on my own, and I know I should know better.

After: The same way a person with a physical illness, such as diabetes, needs medicine, such as insulin, every day, I have mental illness, general anxiety disorder coupled with mild obsessive compulsive disorder, and post traumatic stress disorder, and need medicine every day to control the symptoms. And, along with cognitive behavioral therapy, I will get well, in time.

Congratulations hospitalization and partial hospitalization; you’ve actually taught me a lot. (and not just this, but this still is a huge thing)